This is the End

So dawn has arrived on my departure day. I don't have much time, but I just wanted to say goodbye to my travel readers, and to China. I will see some of you soon!!!

The 13th Hour

In thirteen hours I will be on a flight to Shanghai. I want to come home so desperately, but I still feel as if there is a great deal that I am missing out on. I have not seen the Great Wall. I have not seen the stone army. I have not seen someone do calligraphy. Working and traveling is a terribly combination. To be in a place and not be able to see her character, her inner beauty, is a crime. I need to learn to add a few days onto the end of the trip for my own use, but then again I would be sad and lonely without some sort of companionship, and bringing SPF along would not be that easy. Perhaps someday it will all make sense. Perhaps someday I will travel freely, speak the language, and be able to absorb a culture instead of smelling it only through the car window.

Ahh, but I do return. And don't get me wrong. I am glad to be coming back. I am tired, that is certain, and both yesterday and today were close to fourteen hour days. I am running on adrenaline out of the fear that I will not wake up in time or will forget my passport or one of my bags. But, alas, I have packed everything except for this computer and my toiletries, which I will pack after I get ready in the morning. My clothes are out, my luggage rearranged to hold only those things that I need on the plane (as opposed to the trip out when my carry-on held two days clothes and essential toiletries as well as all audit documentation.) I will set my cell phone to alarm (which is charging now) and I will be on my way with my American companion tomorrow at 11:20 local time.

Is it weird that I feel like hugging the bell boy?

Ego Boost

My ego was boosted a lot today. The engineer that I work with that has been accompanying the last few audits has been getting on my nerves. He does not respect my authority in these audits, he is arrogant, he interrupts, he misunderstands things that have been made clear and wastes precious time on them, frustrating not only me, but also the people who have already explained as well as the translators who have already translated. He makes statements like "Do you want to check this?" and "Shouldn't we see that record?" before I have a chance to even begin to ask, as if he is leading the team and has to direct poor, little, ignorant me. I have been very patient, but today I snapped. Today I interrupted him, reworded a question that we were having trouble with, got my answer, and then declared that we were going to move on and not linger on this issue.

Because of this, at lunch he was a little snippy. So, after I spoke some Mandarin to our hosts, he said "You can hear her accent, right?" And the woman who I had been speaking to said, "No, she sounds just like a Chinese person." And she said it in Chinese and I understood. Hmph.

New Adventures

Excellent. Post worked quickly and was completed. There are so many other things that I have not yet conveyed to you! One of which is the modest realization that here I am exotic, which means that here I am also beautiful. I have been told so by many people now, though at first I thought they were just being nice, but then when people said that when they wouldn't gain anything from it (like a good first impression) I was a little shocked. I have decided that I am Pretty in China.

But that isn't even the fun adventure stories. I tend not to believe compliments while auditing. Buttering up the auditor is a classic trick. It actually works more than you might think. Usually by complimenting the auditors intelligence, or "cleverness" as they put it here. I know I am clever, but thank you, now bring me that record.

The new adventures, however, start with the new foods and flavors. In general I don't ask what I am eating because there is always the chance that you will retch right onto the table. I think it is actually, scientifically, and literally called the "yuck factor." Something that I find revolting even without ever tasting it (such as chicken feet.) But today I had to admit that something revolting ended up being good (like the first time that I had pate.) Today I have eaten "fish belly." Don't ask me what that actually is, but it has a salty flavor with a bit of fishiness, but nothing so overwhelming or gross that it is spit out immediately. It was good. I also tried lotus root, which was kind of like hicama and covered in a nice, sweet and spicy sauce. It was lovely. There was one more, but perhaps I am purposely forgetting, because I honestly can't remember.

Right, bite-sized pieces. Well, the first new adventure was an adventure in food. (To which I must add that I saw something today that I would NEVER eat but that I found intriguing to the highest degree. Outside of the restaurant that we ate at there was a woman with sheets of honeycomb. Thinking that she was somehow procuring natural honey, I went over to check it out. The comb was crawling with live bees, which she was plucking off and putting into a bowl. For some reason they were stunned or dying, so they didn't fly away. Then she would pluck away the outer crust and pull out...the grubs. The bee babies. The squirmy, yellow, plump, little bee babies. These, we were told, are roasted and eaten. You can keep your grubs, thank you.)

Must Test Blogger

So, I actually wrote even more blogs and blogging adventures over the weekend, but I did not have a good connection, so they did not post. I am at a new hotel now and am trying this connection, so if this posts, I will take it in bite-sized pieces from now on.

Dinner and a Conversation

Tonight our new colleague insisted that we venture into the unknown and find a restaurant that was not at the hotel. Goodman and I, realizing that is was his first night in the Country, agreed. He was allowed a little bit of remaining spirit.

So off we went to find local cuisine and a good time. (Not THAT kind of good time.) And so we came across a "hot pot" restaurant. This is the type of restaurant that scarlet and Bill ate in when they fought in "Lost in Translation" and then later said that it was a stupid restaurant because you had to cook your own food. NOT STUPID AT ALL!!! It was FUN!! We got food and cooked it and ate it, including raw dumpling that had to be boiled to perfection to be scrumptiously eaten. Yummy. The food was brilliant, but the conversation got very interesting when one of the waiters (I think we had about nine between the three of us) started to talk to Goodman and Goodman assured him that I spoke Mandarin, so I had to whip out my "I speak a little Mandarin" and "I am an American" phrases to impress him. Then I impressed Goodman when I added "But I don't speak very well." The young waiter was quite impressed and began to speak to me in Mandarin, expecting that I understood every word.

I now understand just how stupid it is when we speak English very slowly around people who do not speak English. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND MANDARIN NO MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU SPEAK IT!! For the rest of the night I was having conversations in different languages with all of the wait staff, with Goodman as a trusty translator. There were a few things that he told us he would not translate, which we then forced out of him. I will not repeat it here...

All in all, it was a fantastic and fun night. No matter what else happens (and I am also choosing not to speak of this) I am glad that our companion has joined us if only for the adventurous side that brought us out into the real world, the real Chinese world. What a wonderful evening.

I Should Have Crossed My Fingers

Sixth and final. Why did I have to be so energetic about it? Why so confident that we could ACTUALLY STAY IN ONE PLACE FOR MORE THAN A NIGHT!?!?!?

So, tomorrow we are off to a new hotel. One that is closer to our new comrades. One that is closer to the airport. One that, hopefully, has a bath. Everything would be worth it if it only had a bath. Mmmmmmm. Baaaaathhhhh.

American Dave

I met another American today!! We were having our audit and decided to go to lunch. We all piled into the van and were suddenly waiting for someone else, though who we did not know, as all of our auditees were in the van already. Then this other guy came out and jumped in back, okay ready to go! No. Then, out of nowhere, this American guy wandered out of the building and into the van. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me, as if he thought I might be a mirage, and then he squinted and said "American?" in a disbelieving voice and I said "Yep."

His name is Dave. He has been here since July and will be here for at least another four months. He is working on an electric skateboard. The company that we audited today has some electronics division that he is working with. I never did figure out why he had to be here for so long, but I did figure out that I speak more Mandarin than him.

He was really very nice. 23 years old. Living life to the fullest, and apparently keeping it interesting by not learning the language. I think he was excited to speak English to people who understand automatically, though I think we were too old a crowd for him. (I know, I am terrified.) None the less, I met another American!!

It's Raining in Dongguan

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!! I am about ready to jump out of my skin!!! Goodman has gone to ShenZhen to spend the afternoon with his friend and then he will pick up our colleague at 11:00 and bring him back here. Three more audits to complete. Perhaps the most difficult three, so this is my last day to look around China and IT RAINS! Or rather, it continues the deluge.

So I have gotten very familiar with the HBO schedule, as that is one of very few channels in English and try as I might, I can't understand anything that is going on in the Chinese television programs. Not the game shows, not the dramas, not what I assume are the comedies...nothing. So I watch HBO, I read, I watch the DVDs that I brought, but I am going mad, and getting sluggish with my wasted energy. There isn't really room in my room to do any Kung Fu, though Mr. N will surely disown me if I do not do the form at least once. I will have to try later. Perhaps after this blog. I must complete it at least once, to be sure I remember it before I have to test.

I think that being here has actually made me want to study harder, and to try and learn more Mandarin, and to fully enjoy and appreciate my life. I know that may seem strange, but it is a very fortunate life, and I am blessed to have so many experiences, to have so many opportunities, and I should not squander them. And so I shall not. Or at least, I will try not to. Wow, that got off subject. It's raining, did I mention that?

It's Raining in ShenZhen

The rain doesn't seem to want to let up. I am told there is nothing to worry about, but I am not as worried about today as I am worried about Thursday, when I am supposed to fly out. I have two planes that must connect for me to get back to the States in one piece, and I am now familiar enough with the Chinese air transportation system to have some anxiety about the matter.

Aside from that, though, I am just tired of being inside all the time. Not that it would be bad to go out in the rain, but I can't afford to get sick, and I don't want stuff drenched clothes into my luggage. There are presents in there. I'm not naming names, but some people would be very sad to learn that there present was drenched and therefore had to be discarded. Sigh. So, in I stay. There are not very many indoor activities that you can do around here, so I read. I am halfway through one of the two books I brought with me, and I started it three days ago. I guess that means I will be okay for the rest of the trip, at least, if not for the ride home.

Another Transfer

Today I transfer to my sixth and final hotel for this trip. I will be there for four nights. So, in five days I will be on a flight back to Shanghai, and then one to LAX. I am ready for it. I am exhausted, as the beds here are not conducive to sleep, and I can't even enjoy exploring as the rain has increased significantly. No parks for me, just indoors, all the time.

Goodman is going to escort me to the new hotel and then head back to ShenZhen to retrieve our colleague who arrives late tonight, so I will be locked away in a hotel room again, unless the rain in Dongguan is any different than it is in ShenZhen. I am very much hoping that it is as I would love to go outside and see some of this country on my own.

Family

There is a great sense of community here among families. Grandparents down through grandchildren, cousins, uncles, aunts, all of these people can often be found under one roof. But as a whole, I don't feel a sense of community in the larger cities. The real communities seem to be those that remain somewhat rural. I imagine it is not unlike New York City, or London. In the big cities, there are just too many people to know, too many to be concerned with.

And there are SO. MANY. PEOPLE. I can't even begin to fathom. There are apartments and dormitories everywhere. Land is a precious commodity, so a single towering building could have thousands of tiny rooms that they call apartments, or a few luxury apartments more reminiscent of the condos in downtown San Diego. Just by driving by a building you cannot tell how much of that building is industrial, business, living space, or even vacant.

The need for housing here is tremendous. So much so that buildings are built in stages, and as soon as one stage is complete (like one floor, or one quarter of the building) they will begin to move people into the completed rooms. Unlike the construction I have witnessed in the US, here the insides of buildings are completed first, to allow for habitation, and the outsides, such as the finishing concrete, paint or stucco or tile, come at a later time, or sometimes not at all. It makes me question the stability of some of the buildings that tower but are constructed only of layers of substandard bricks, but I suppose there is no choice as to where you can live. The worst cases are people living in the garages that I mentioned in an earlier blog. These garages are used as shops and pool halls, but when they close up at night, they are a dry and relatively safe place for some of these people to rest.

I think as capitalism encroaches, the attitude of helping your fellow man, your brother, is fading in that all too common every man for himself mentality that brings out the worst in humanity. I don't know how China will survive her own economic boom. Although I have to say, I expected to get a pair of Calvin Klein jeans here for cheap and found them to be MORE expensive than in the states. This is a new era for China, in many ways, from economical and political, to the implications of being open to the world on her own identity.

One such example of this "open China" that I find potentially detrimental is the issuance of "Chinese" and "English" names at birth. Each Chinese person that I have met has two names. One that I have to be coached to pronounce, and one that I pronounce better than the owner. For instance, the twelve year old girl that I met the other day had a Chinese name of (phonetic here) Chiang Lin Lin, and an English name of Tamara. Her mother, who owns the company that supplies our product, is Judy, I don't even know her Chinese name. I am often handed business cards with two sides. One in English and one in Chinese. The names do not match. My side will read Joe Wang, and the other side will read Wu Chang Hua, in Chinese characters. I admit I was shocked when I arrived at my first hotel and was greeted by "Amy" but I was also greatly saddened. There is a great deal of history, care, and decision that will go into naming my own children, I would hate to see them shirk that for something more common, just as much as it would surely disturb my parents if I started to call myself Jane. Then again, these "English" names are also decided by the parents, in most cases, but I still find it awfully sad. Any friend that I have ever had with a difficult to pronounce name I have learned, and then been closer to them for being able to communicate with them on that level, even if it is only their name that I know in their native culture. That, at least, is something.

Mother Nature

Mother Nature was against us yesterday. We went to an Island just off the coast of Fuzhou that has some tourist attractions and were nearly blown off the top of the island by some strong winds. We had worked our way to the top to look at a statue of a legendary woman who is supposed to have protected sailors from the sea. The wind got so bad people were falling over on the rocks and sliding along the ground despite leaning into the wind.

I thought that it would be a good idea to leave the island, seeing as how we had come by ferry and the waves were starting to pick up as well as the wind. Goodman insisted that there were more things to see. I was patient. We went to the beach to see some sand statues that have been GLUED in place. (I must admit, after being sand blasted and mutilated by the wind on that beach, I am impressed with the glue.) After that he said, we should go to another mountain to look around, and I said, we should get the hell off this island. He reluctantly agreed.

As we drove back to the ferry landing, the driver told us that the wind is not usually bad, but it gets bad like this before a Typhoon. Goodman made some crack about how we would be stranded on the island for three days. I didn't respond.

The ferry ride back was crazy. We were pitched backwards and forwards and side to side all over the place. I have been pitched in a sailboat and survived, but this was a two decker ferry, so I was a little nervous. We made it to the other side and took a taxi back to the hotel.

I am still reading about the devastation in New Orleans, and something about another hurricane on the way? Are any of us safe from Mother Nature anymore? I feel as though the days of man are beginning to be numbered if our planet has anything to say about it. Does anyone know if a Typhoon is headed my way?

Lifestyles

There is something that I have not yet mentioned. The average Chinese home does not have a television. In fact, from what I can tell, it is an extraordinary home that does. So there is not a mass form of entertainment for a billion people. A billion people that live in sometimes horrendous conditions, on extremely little pay, with stringent government enforcement on how they should live, what they should think and say, and how many children they can have.

As ancient Romans would tell you, this is a problem. Their solution was the coliseum. China's solution is to keep you out of your home for as long as possible during the day, and return you there only for sleep until your next day begins, with many people working seven days a week, fourteen or fifteen hours a day.

On my first night in Panyu, the smaller, industrial city outside of Shenzhen, I witnessed a strip of shops that are run out of garages on the bottom floor of dormitory housing. These shops have maybe six pool tables, outside, on the street, or a small food mart, or plastic chairs and overturned buckets lined up to watch a fifteen inch tv with a popular show on. I assumed that this was happening because of the poverty of the area, but did not expect that it was a cultural occurrence.

In the larger cities, however, there is usually a square or another row of shops on what is called a "walking street" where there are no cars and you can sit on the sidewalk and watch a billboard sized screen with that same popular show. The shops themselves are also open until ten, so that what little time you have to yourself can be spent shopping for things that you need, or those that you want and have been able to save for.

But tonight, I was introduced to something else. We treated our hostess and her twelve year old daughter to dinner and then she asked us if we would like to go to the park. Um, okay. It was already about 8:00 and street lighting is not a common convenience, but she insisted and we had no other plans. We drove to her home and from there walked to the local park, which we then had to pay to enter (there are many such controls in China) and we walked around the grounds until we came to a small stage where three girls were performing a parasol dance. We sat to watch the dance and I was thinking that it was a local talent show or variety show, as the girls were not well synced or terribly talented with spinning their parasols. That was, of course, until they started bending over backwards, lifting each other by one foot, balancing all three on one pair of legs, or climbing up ladders while balancing candles on poles on bars that they held with their teeth.

I remembered suddenly that of all the Cirque performances that I have ever seen, there has always been an act of Chinese acrobats. Of course they learn from early childhood and practice day in and day out. But apparently there are many such acrobats in China, and these that we saw tonight were just three of those many, and were not afforded a greater audience than those of us that fit in the courtyard in front of the stage in lawn chairs.

I was also reminded that every Cirque show that I have ever been to has cost over $75 USD per person, and the arenas hold several hundred. These performers, we were told (and there were eight of them in all) make $500 RMB (Chinese dollars) a night. That equates to around $60 USD, split between 8 people that I saw, plus whatever crew was working backstage, costs of props, costumes, lighting, equipment, and any other overhead.

But they do keep the citizens occupied.

Gone for a Swim

After visiting the temple yesterday I found a need to contemplate my life. Nothing drastic or self-deprecating, just a need to be alone and think. I have found over the past few years that living near the ocean has made me crave it when I find myself searching for answers or peace. For some reason being under water and emerging again to the open air is calming to me, and clears my head enough that I can focus on whatever it is that is bringing me confusion.

There is an ocean here, about an hour away, but I thought that might be a strange request for a taxi, so I went to the hotel pool at about 8:00 and swam. I was completely alone, aside from the sound of the hustle and bustle of the city gone metropolitan. Cars, people, horns, music, a cacophony of city life from the rooftop of my home away from home. Being under water made that go away, too. No sound, no fury, just peace. It was not unlike the peacefulness of the temple, although achieved in a different manner.

I thought I was alone aside from one attendant in the corner whose job it was to have me sign a bill before I could leave the pool. He would glance up occasionally, but for the most part was busing himself with paperwork. I was floating on my back, looking up at the dusk sky with my ears under the surface just to be at peace with the world when something flew into and out of my view. And then again and again. After a couple of passes I figured out his rhythm and was able to watch more closely on his next pass. He was a tiny fruit bat, skimming the water for tiny bugs. There was an art to his process, and he stayed a minimum of five feet from me at all times and would dive bomb the water only within a specific radius, though he flew directly above me on his second pass almost every time.

I don't know why, but I was fascinated by watching him. His wingspan couldn't have been more than the length of my hand, and his little ears made an unmistakable silhouette against the darkening sky. He was aware of me, that was certain, but didn't seem to have any fear. For some reason I found this very peaceful as well. Just watching him fly by as I floated along in the water below. It is actually calming just to think of it now. So very peaceful. Strange what the little things can do for us.

Guang Hua Temple

I have no words, but I will try to find some. Today our work ended quickly as we found that we had been mislead (or rather, the truth of the manufacturing factory and its relationship with our supplier was misunderstood) so we were done with the final audits for this area around noon. Goodman and I had lunch and discussed what we should do and decided that we would rest and then visit a local temple in the afternoon, when the heat had dies down enough that we could walk around and explore.

I admit some preconceived notions here. When someone explains that there is an ancient temple in the vicinity, I think of preserved ruins, or perhaps pictorial representations of how the temple used to be, who worshiped there, and what significance the ancient ways have on the culture of today. I think of Chichen Itza, with manicured grounds, impossible stone steps, and tour guides. I do not expect to see a Mayan priest in full regalia with untrimmed fingernails about to perform an ancient ritual.

Of course my ignorance on this matter was quickly righted with the first view of a Buddhist monk walking serenely across a bridge. Ah. This is a thousand year old temple that is still in use. Gotcha.

And there I was with camera in hand, wearing jeans and a Full Metal Alchemist T-shirt on holy ground. I wish I had thought instead of Vatican City, or Notre Dame, but no, I think of Chichen Itza that has been dead and resurrected for tourist pleasure.



This temple, this Guang Hua had a very strong spirituality encompassing it. Not just in the beautifully maintained buildings, or the statues, or the monks, but the place itself, as if it sat upon a spring of unity and calmness. The most remarkable thing happened there. These monks, these ancient spirited men in a modern world are the first and only people to treat me as though, perhaps, I was meant to be there. Not one of them regarded me any differently than they regarded everyone else. I was simply another human in their presence. A person, just like every other, who was there for some purpose, but which didn't affect them in any way different from any other person. I was overwhelmed by this. I felt terribly sheepish that I had worn such garish clothing, but they didn't seem to be affected either way. They were pleasant, hard working, and open men. They were kind. Each one of them had a presence about him that seemed ultimately very content. They invited us to eat with them, but I felt as though the food would be better served to those who needed it. Every meal, it seems, they make enough food for the monks and for the visitors or any who wander in and need to be fed. It was a beautiful place.

I am afraid I cannot do it justice, even with these photographs, because I didn't want to take any pictures inside the temple out of respect, though Goodman guaranteed me that it would be okay. I did take plenty of other pictures, though, and I have posted my favorites throughout this blog. I hope they do some justice to the amazing experience that we had today.

My Hotel

I thought that I would share a bit of what the accommodations are like here. This is a picture of the central area of my hotel tower. At the bottom is a coy pond with, well, coy. I thought is was beautiful decoration, so I thought I would share. (Now that I am super savvy with computer picture downloading and stuff.)

The Injustice of it All

I have just learned that there is such a thing as a Hagen Daaz IceCream mooncake. I am unmanned, unmended, and unmade. Why do I learn this now?? Now when the festival is over and I do not get to partake in the Hagen Daaz mooncake??? The injustice makes me tremble with remorseful need.

Tales from Putian

I don't think that I will be trying any more "sandwiches" mostly because of the Hamburger incident. I imagine a chicken sandwich would have lots of parts that would not normally be on a Western chicken sandwich. I will say one thing for the Chinese, they do not waste anything. Most of the time I have trouble eating the meats because they have bones in them which I can't seem to get out. My hosts, so far, and Goodman all have elaborate eating techniques that allow them to chew the meat off of the bones and eat it, while being able to spit out the bones. I just end up with a mass of chewy globby stuff that I have to spit out, and then I feel like an idiot. So, for meat eating, I try to eat around the bones, which might make me look a little strange to these people, but I have become adept enough at using the chopsticks that they don't seem to give it a second thought.

So far Fuzhou province has been much more rural a place, though the accommodations are by far the nicest I have had so far, and the internet is the least finicky. After we landed I was excited, though, because the roads leading to and from the airport had farmers walking along them with giant oxen and they were wearing traditional Chinese hats and carrying two buckets from a staff that hangs about their shoulders. I saw many such farmers and lots of land being cultivated for crops and tended by the local people. And the architecture here is more traditional. Lots of pagoda style buildings, shrines, and even traditional remnants in the new building that are being built, such as the roof posts that comes out and sweeps back up for decoration. My only concern so far is that I haven't had a lot of a chance to explore and take pictures, and since we do not have a car of our own, we are at the mercy of our hosts to drive us around. I will try and take some pictures of the local scenery, but from a car, through a dirty window, and with a slow response digital camera, I might not have much to show you!

Here, however, is something interesting.

When in Rome...

I know the rule. When in Rome, do as the Roman's do. This includes eating Roman fare, because Romans know how to make Roman fare, and they do not, persay, know how to make American fare the way that an American would like to see it. I have so far eaten only Chinese food or Chinese takes on Japanese food, but I have steered clear of Western food because I have a pretty clear idea of what should be in Western food.

Today, however, when I ordered the pork and rice and was told that they were out of some ingredient that they needed, I panicked because the waitress was standing right there and I ordered a hamburger. I know what you are thinking, bad idea. Yes. You are correct.

My first indication that there may be a...problem...was the fact that there was ham on my hamburger. I know that this is a strange concept, and we Americans are bizarre creatures who would create such a thing that has no ham, as it were, inside, on, around, or on top of the burger. I thought that this was perhaps an okay oversight and that it might be interesting. There were still the usual accompaniments, such as lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mustard...but then there were some other things that made it a little too exotic to eat. Things like cucumbers, which were just strange, a mystery sauce that was too sweet, and then there was the egg. Yep. The egg. It reminded me of SPF ordering a pizza in Tahiti. It, too, came with a fried egg on top. I don't know why. I don't usually think of Americans as associated with extraneous egg product, but oh well. Eggs galore. It was also sunny side up, which made the whole contraption very difficult to eat. So difficult, in fact, that I abandoned the project and waited until dinner. (See below.)

Ironically, the fries were perfect.

The Legend of Chicken Foot

I am trying to be very open minded. I am trying new things, like fifty year old preserved eggs, sugared and fried pork skin, mooncakes, smelly fruit pastry, pretty much anything and everything that is put in front of me. I have met my match, though. I cannot eat a chicken foot. In fact, I also cannot watch people eating chicken feet. I spent a lot of time looking up at the ceiling and down at my plate with the occasional glance at our hostess to be sure that she wasn't choking on a metacarpal. This is the first time in China that I have felt nauseas, and it was a VERY strong nausea. Reason being? They LOOK like chicken feet. I know that I already told you about the crispy chicken head, so I knew I was eating a real chicken, and we have been served whole fish, which did, admittedly, look like fish, but I simply cannot eat a foot. Anymore than I could eat a tongue. Not going to taste anything that could taste me back, and not going to eat anything that has walked around in poo.

That is my stance and I am sticking to it.

All the Little Children

I have seen many different scenarios with children in them. Today, for instance, as we drove into Putian (in the Fuzhou province) I had my first experience of school children letting out. There is a mix of uniformed and non, though I don't know why, and they usually wear pigtails or pony tails and almost always walk hand in hand. I have also seen what I assume to be a big brother biking his little brother home, though I also am aware that there are some rules about number of children allowed per family that still exist in China. I have also seen little bear bottomed children running around near their parents in the big city, and one little girl who wandered into the legs of an elderly woman, looked up, and started screaming, only to run back to her laughing father. I also met the son of the General Manager of our first audit, and she told him to speak English with me, and he was terrified. So I said hello in Chinese and he quickly backed his way out of the room. In the hall you could hear him exclaim something to his mother in full voice, which was translated to me as "Mom! Why did you have to embarrass me like that!!??"

All in all, I think we are the same around the world. Children are perhaps the best demonstration of our similarities. They are all curious, they are all bold, they are all inquisitive, and yet they hide behind their parents when they are scared.

Time difference. I am 15 hours ahead of California.

To Bed With Me

I will see you when I see you.

An Irish Lass In King Arthur's China

Excellent question, ears. I am the center of much unwanted attention. I wouldn't mind some of the stares, but they are everywhere and all the time. People driving down the road will speed up and slow down to get a better look. I would say that we "crackers" are not very common at all. Though I will also say that, on average, I am taller, fatter, and have bigger boobs than everyone in China, including the women!!

In the bigger cities people see me as a dollar sign. I have been offered unreleased DVD's, software, electronics, and an IBM computer, all on the street, some more than once.

In the small towns and factories, I don't think they have ever seen a real live white woman before, and some of them act as though I must be famous, and some of them just follow me around to see what I will do. The women will stare and gawk, usually dropping their eyes if I catch them staring at me, but some will keep starring as if deer caught in headlights. The men will strut. They actually strut. Why, I am not sure, though if I smile at them they either panic and leave or smile big, grand smiles that reduce them to little boys whose bluff has been called and no longer keep the stoic expressions.

At the last factory I was actually a conga line. We asked one guy a question and he answered, and then I think he felt he had to stay around in case we had any other questions for him, and then the others wanted to answer questions and be available as well. It was so funny that I laughed out loud and they all stood up straight and nudged each other in the ribs. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?)

Others approach me as though I am the detriment to their tradition, which I can understand more than some of the other impressions. But when I nod, hand them my business card with both hands and bow slightly, and speak Mandarin, they relax, smile, and I hope see me as a guest instead of an intruder.

I hope that answers your question. Next?

It's SOOO Early for You

I would love to call someone and say hello, but you are all asleep. LAZIES!! No, that is okay.

So, MOON FESTIVAL DAY!!! And yet, all rain, no moon. People are very sad. And I am sad because that means I can't go out to the park to practice Kung Fu. But I can still write to all of you and maybe in a couple of days you will read this and write me back!!

I am off to a much smaller town tomorrow, so it should be a very different experience. I may not be able to connect for a week, so I will try and write a lot today to keep all of you occupied for a week. Hmmm. Also, I might try and go shopping. There is shopping nearby without too much rain, though my jeans are still wet from the lunch run. (Literally...the "run" as well as the "still wet.")

I am going to try some Kung Fu in my room. Maybe work myself so hard that I fall asleep in an hour.

Well goodbye, sleepy dreamers.

Hefty Proposition

Anything and everything. Hmmm. I will try and write about specifics without going mad, but it is the only request!!

First off, though, Wamez, you are funny. I have not yet asked around, but there are so many Chinese people around, I just assumed... Oh yeah, and it isn't in the middle of a desert, so there's that...

Ahem. Let me see. I will describe a mooncake for you, as today is the Autumn Moon Festival and I hope to see a parade or a demonstration or something. The Autumn Moon Festival, as you all know, is a day of family celebration and reunion. In fact, many of the mooncake packages themselves have "Happy Reunion!" written on them in English, as the only English. The mooncake is not your typical Western cake, as there isn't really any "cake" in it. There is, instead, a sort of sweet pasty gelatin like substance...no, that isn't right. This is going to sound gross, but bear with me. If you took a handful of crisco and mixed in sugar, brown sugar, sweetener, Splenda, and seasoning, you would have the inside of a mooncake. Oh, that and the egg yolk. Inside each mooncake is at least one entire, cooked, egg yolk. Not knowing what was inside when I first had one, I was surprised and the yummy sweetness, but more surprised by the contrasting egg yolk. It is a strange but decidedly tasty combination. SOOO sweet, though. I have not been able to eat a whole one, and they are not that large. Here is a picture.



(I haven't opened it yet, but I will...oh I will.)

Now I am hungry. Off to breakfast!!

A Room With a View

Bet ya didn't think that China looked like this:



From my hotel room in ShenZhen...well, my second hotel room in ShenZhen.

And Now for Something Completely Different

So, back from the ridiculous. It actually took me a while to control my laughter at breakfast this morning when ordering. If you are confused, read the previous blog. Since I cannot answer comments with comments, I thought I would answer some here.

Lotus - These things are gigantic. The picture does not do them justice. The closed bud of one of these things is larger than my loosely clenched fist. HUGE! And they are so pretty. I can understand the appeal.

SPF - You temptress. I called you at the allotted time to no avail. I am shunned and saddened, and out approximately 50 cents for the message I left. I'm running a tab...

Everyone else - Thanks for reading!! I have received word that there may be a new reader on board, so WELCOME!! (You know who you are.) :)

I am glad the picture came out. Since I can't read my blog, I can't check to be sure if the picture worked. (I was admittedly a littler nervous about the "Then I would be really modern" comment if it didn't work because I would look like an idiot, but I'm glad that it did.

Hmmmm. Today was interesting. The factory that we went to was very different. The first was huge and very automated and modern, and this one was less so. It was not automated at all and was very person intensive. No worries, though, the system was very good. And the countryside that we went through today was absolutely stunning. I didn't have quick access to my camera otherwise I would show you. Huge rolling mountains of green with a heaviness about them that is difficult to describe. Our resort last night was lakeside and I woke to the beautiful scenery of lake and hills and palm trees. Not like the other night when I woke up to buildings and an oasis in the city...this one WAS an oasis, out in the landscape. I didn't want to leave and thought about ditching the audit...but I wouldn't be here without that whole "job" thing.

I can't decide what to write about. There is so much. Like lunch today where I had to try to remove the slippery and uncontrollable cockscomb from my meal (I am being VERY adventurous, but a girl has limits) and how lanes and traffic directions don't really mean anything, and how road obstacles are "labeled" (I use this term VERY loosely) with little foot high signs that undoubtedly say "This is a huge pile of dirt that you should avoid by careening into the neighboring lane despite the oncoming traffic." And there is also the wonderful bellman who braved a little English and smiled when I braved a NEW phrase in Chinese, and the gaggle of workers that followed me around today out of unabashed curiosity, and the mooncakes, of which I have one sitting next to me as I write, beckoning a nibble. Perhaps my favorite news of the day, I can stay in one hotel for two nights!!! Very excited.

How about this, I will take requests. What would YOU like to hear about, devoted audience? (And if I get another comment spam about "How to eat for life" or "Make your dreams come true with reality dating" I will choose to write about that, believe you me.

Lost in Translation

I find the translations to English of some of the Chinese writing quite funny. Such as: Beauty Saloon, Breakfast Rool, Mooncakes with a variety of filings, We reserve the right of explanation, Fire Off (still not sure what this even means, though I was glad it wasn't "On" at the time,) and of course, my favorite, "Be severe with your butter and jam."

Here is my interpretation...

Oh ye most deceitful of dairy, you churned mush of frozen pastuerized posturing. How dare you sit idly on top of my croissant and press so heavily into the glorious, flaky crust, ruining that which I delight in. You are no match for your spreadable cousin, that of margarine and substitute are smooth and generous, spreading about their contributions to the whole breakfast bread without so much as a crinkle. You are nothing if not your specified function, and yet you refuse to melt into a semblance of coverage about my pastry. I scorn you, wicked temptress of condiments, I curse your solid nature and your unwillingness to conform to my wishes. You are a meaningless curd of an obsolete tradition. I replace you with a proprietor of velvety application. I wish only for consistency in my morning mouthfuls, and you fail to deliver. I am done with you. I don't want to see your molded shape again.

And as for you, jam...you're okay, I guess.

I Never Met a Lotus I Didn't Like

Hello

Email and internet are proving tricky, but for some reason, blogger works well. So, hello everyone. I may not be able to write you back, but I will at least say hello!!

I Want to Hug China

Everyone here has been so nice to me. The people are courteous and kind and patient and I am the bad guy auditor who is here to scold them and still they take me in stride. So far I have been more well received here than New Zealand. And I have seen some amazing things. From the truly astonishing, such as the landscape and the parks, to the bizarre, such as the taxi motorcycles who take up to two passengers...that I have seen. I have seen what I believe to be bicycle taxis as well, with a little flat grate on back like kids in the fifties used to strap their school books to. Crazy. And there is a devil may care attitude about driving that will haunt me for years to come.

So far the food has been amazing. I like Chinese food in the states, but this stuff is fabulous. We had dinner on the floor at this Japanese restaurant where we had a room to ourselves (four of us) and they brought in dishes of all sorts, both Japanese and Chinese, and I grabbed my chopsticks and dug in. (Ignoring, I might add, the knife and fork that were specifically brought in for the white girl.) I was commended for my "strong will" by our host. I was eating everything they put in front of me, even if only for a bite to try, and was enjoying everything, even AFTER I saw that the chicken they brought out still had its head. Deep fried, but there it was, staring into my plate with a crispy solemnity.

The hotels just keep getting better. Last night was HEAVEN in the middle of a muddy, overcrowded town. We arrived in the night and I thought we were on an isolated resort, only to learn with first light that we were surrounded with high rise dormitories, office buildings, and factories. Honestly, you wouldn't know if you didn't look up. And I met my first lotus flower. She was beautiful. I may try and figure out how to post the picture from here. That would be very modern of me. Tonight the hotel is beautiful, though I am not sure I love it as much as the Panyu hotel from last night, thought the furniture is out of this world. Actually, I take that back, the furniture is from about two hundred years ago and the stuff of kings. At least, that is what it represents. And it has internet, which is another bonus.

The audit went well, for those of you concerned about my focus. One down, eight to go.

Oh, and, on the bright side, apparently my Mandarin is perfect. When I told Goodman that I was learning he demanded that I speak to him and so I sheepishly said (phonetic appealing here) "Ni whey shoa ying guen ma?" Our host, who was having a conversation of his own on the other side of the table, stopped everything, reeled, and said "Oh my God!!" I'm assuming he was imagining that I had been understanding everything from the beginning, which I promptly reassured him I hadn't. It didn't help that a few minutes later he said "me guaryen" and I said "AH! Wa sur me guaryen!" because I understood that he was talking about my Americanism. He tried only English from then on and prompted me to speak Mandarin to anyone new to arrive. I became quite the attraction speaking in perfect Mandarin (or so I am told) and only asking "Do you speak English?" Chinese humor is easy.

Besides that my feet are sore, my back aches (I haven't yet mentioned the boxes that pass for mattresses, have I?) and my shoulder, ironically cured by Chinese Red Flower super potion prior to my departure, has gone back to its broken state.

All in all, so far an excellent adventure. Oh, and I had fifty year old egg...not bad, considering.

I woke up in China

Cool. I am very much liking it here, although I am afraid to leave my room. Could be because of the neighborhood, could be because I heard a screaming match between a woman and a man at 4:00 this morning and couldn't get it out of my head that it was a pimp and his "lady." At any rate, I will be forced into the unknown at 1:00 p.m. when I must check out and wait for Goodman to show up at 4:30. I was thinking about looking around for a park so that Mr. N will be proud of me. (Meaning that I not only have to find the park, but practice a form in it.)

Hmmmm. So for some reason I can post blogs, but I can't open them once they are posted or view any of my blogs or my friend's blogs. Could be a China thing. I don't know. All I know is that I will keep posting, but I can't reply to anything yet. I will keep trying, but don't worry if I don't respond.

Took a cold shower this morning, not intentional. I think that is another "feature" of my current accommodations, but not to worry! At least now I don't smell. I don't think.

Have a lovely day, or evening, or whatever time it is for you people. :)

Made It...Sort Of

So, I must be brief, explanation to follow.

Made it to LAX no issues. Renting a car and driving myself up was a GREAT IDEA (thank you SPF.)

Made it onto the plane to Shanghai no problem. Sat on aforementioned plane for two hours. Started to worry because I had almost exactly a two hour layover to catch my connecting flight.

Had an empty seat next to me, was able to sleep for six of the thirteen hours. Food was...interesting, but good.

Got to Shanghai earlier than expected, with exactly one hour to catch my connection. According to my ticket. Which was apparently obsolete since as soon as I got out of Customs I heard an announcement for the "Last call for MY FLIGHT!"

Panic.

Calm overcoming panic because I MUST NOT MISS THIS PLANE!!

I got to the ticket counter, he said "No." I said, "EEEEEEEE". He said, "Fine, go and talk to number 5."

Number 5 ignored me.

Then he picked up my ticket, looked at it with big eyes, looked at his watch and made four calls that I am assuming were "STOP THE PLANE!" Because he then told me to take all of my bags and RUN to the gate, which was the FARTHEST ONE FROM WHERE I WAS!!

Made it onto the plane. I have now contributed to the "smelly American" stereotype.

Flew to Shenzhen. Got here early, because they moved the flight time up, smart.

Waited for half an hour for Goodman. I'm going to edit the car trip to the hotel because I don't have the patience or the time to describe it now.

Got to the glorious 5 star hotel, finally. Except that Goodman did not ACTUALLY book me a room.

Started to call around to other hotels. I am trying to reassure him that it happens to the best of us...the best being ME and not HIM. Calm remains.

And now I am booked in a less than savory, smoking room, away from civilization, not near any shopping that I could do during the day after my checkout time of 12:00, so I will be catching up on my reading while I wait for Goodman to pick me up tomorrow at 5:00 after his conference.

Oh, and the converter I brought that says CHINA right on the side does not work in China, so my computer is about to die and I will not have any way to charge it unless I brave the shopping situation tomorrow.

If you don't hear from me again, Don't Panic.

Mandarin is Hard

So, I thought that I was doing pretty well with my lessons in Mandarin, ready for some baby steps into the language while I am in the Country for three weeks, but then I got to a new section of the program and they said that "the word for 'to eat' is pronounced with a high, even tone. Repeat 'sur'." Okay. Problem is that I have been repeating 'sur' for two months as a word that means 'to be' AND I CAN'T HEAR THE DIFFERENCE!! So, does this mean that I have been saying "I am eating an American person," instead of "I AM an American person?" THAT IS TERRIBLE!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?!?

Mandarin is hard. I think I am just going to practice the phrase for "Do you speak English?" over and over and over again.

Off to China

I leave for China in less than a week. I am a little nervous, but I guess that is the spice of life. At least I should be able to pack light, since it is going to be hot over there...

I am also hoping to lose some weight. Partially due to the heat, and partially due to the limited cuisine options. Should be interesting. I generally stay away from rice, so I am imagining to fit into the South Beach Diet pretty well over there. Not a lot of bread or potatoes, so that helps, I guess.

I also am DYING to try Kung Fu in a park. I think it would be really fun. And I am told that it is totally common place and I won't look like an idiot or anything!!! (Very different in Vista, CA.)

Sifu said that when he was there (about a month ago) he was trying to ask the woman at the hotel desk where he could go and practice but she didn't speak English, and he didn't speak Mandarin. So they went back and forth for a while, and finally he just said "Kung Fu?" And she smiled and nodded and pointed in the direction of a park that was apparently overflowing with Tai Chi practitioners and various other studiers of Martial Arts. The only reason he would stand out would be that he is Mexican. :)

I want to stand out just because I am an Irish/Polish/Scottish/etc. white girl.

Then again, I don't know how much time I will have to actually do things on my own, and my New Zealand "host" will be with me, so he will probably want to do things together. Not because of my company, but because he is kind of sexist and doesn't think it is safe for someone like me (woman) to be alone in China. He may be right, but then I won't get to do any Kung Fu!!!

Sigh. I never am going to get my blue sash. My staff still sits in the corner, purchased over a year ago and wrapped in Looney Toons Christmas wrapping paper.

A Grim Grimm Tale

Ultimately, I think this was a very interesting idea, but poorly executed. The script needed work and couldn't decide if it wanted to be serious and gruesome or slapstick funny, which resulted in several awkward moments where you are just horrified. The effects were pretty good, the directing moderately better, but I have to say I was absolutely thrilled by the performance of Heath Ledger. He is a remarkable talent and seems to squeeze into completely different roles with ease. Beautiful job. Matt wasn't half bad either, though the nuances of Heath's performance were more commendable. All in all, though, I think this one is a renter at best.

Thursday...Thursday

Today seems long. Not as long as yesterday, which was REALLY long, but still inordinately longer than a day should be. Could be because the CEO demands that we be here on time...pshaw!! So, I have been coming in EARLY to be CERTAIN that I am on time, because the one day he checked, I was 15 minutes late and he was furious. Great. Way to focus.

So, now I am here and am still here and have been here. Nothing like JQ's long days when her boss was out, though. At least I still have a semblance of a normal work day. The trick is, when we stay until 8:00 at night, we don't get any recognition or reward, but we get scolded for coming in 15 minutes late. Sigh.

None the less, I like my job (when I have work) and I have to be here for another four hours. Although, since I get in earlier now, I can leave earlier too. No more late nights if this is how the game is played.

Won't even upgrade my FIFTEEN HOUR flight to business class, even though I save $3,300.00 on my last trip which WASN'T EASY! I was conscientious and pragmatic. I didn't eat some meals because I was concerned about the per diem. No more. I will EXACTLY match the budget from now on. If I can't have the airfare upgrade (which is worth $2,700.00, being rested, and getting work done on the plane) then I am going to gorge myself and buy in-room massages and stuff. Can I do that? Dad?