Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Photographer's Block

After two months of what can only be described as almost commercial assignments, I am tapped. I bought two roses and two Gerber daisies wrapped in waxed brown paper and tied with a paper bow and they are resting on my dresser loosely stacked together and awaiting their close-ups. I bought them with the intention of shooting them this afternoon, I loaded 4 x 5 film, I cleared off my table to prepare a space for my flowers to be shot, and yet I can't bring myself to actually shoot them. I don't know why. They are lovely. I bought them for their red-tipped, high-contrast petals, the way the color fades from deep red to pink on the tallest of them, or the deep orange and yellow on the face of one of the daisies. They are lovely. They are also lonely. It actually looks from here like they are avoiding looking at each other. They are jealous of each other, as if they weren't pretty enough to pose for me, as if maybe I would only pick one of them and I am waiting to see which one of them is the best. I feel really bad about it, now. I don't mean to be putting them under so much stress. This was supposed to be a fun after session shoot. I'm sorry, little flowers. Tomorrow will be your debut. Just let me sleep it off. It isn't you, it's me.