Cat Update

OQ-F seems to be doing much better. He is eating now, which is big progress. He is still coughing a lot and hacking, but nothing is coming up anymore, which is a REAL relief. He does have to have medicine three times a day, and I have the bleeding scabs to prove it. He is actually pretty talented at squirming out of a tightly held, industrial, thick towel and scratching his oppressor. I am usually the oppressor. SPF isn't as good at capturing and holding him as I am, so I usually am holding him. He then has the medicine administered by SPF. He got so mad the other day he almost got my eye with his claw, which would have been a repeat incident after the run in with LQ-B. I kept thinking of the words "penetrated the full depth of her cornea..." EEEEWWWWWWWW. I now close my eyes and turn my head while keeping a firm grip on the gatito in his thick and easily-escapable towel.

Now that he is home, though, we are all sleeping better. Including IQ-F who has been FREAKING OUT without her older brother around. She doesn't know what to do with herself. I am starting to think that he maybe attacks her all the time because she is just so annoying when she runs around all day. Literally runs. She tears around corners, back and forth, with no apparent reasoning, object of pursuit, or pursuer. It is a very strange sight.

Yesterday

• my cat was in the ER at 1:00 a.m.
  
• my watch died
  
• my work badge broke
  
• my bacon swiss burger had only bacon and swiss, and no burger
  
• i worked until 9:00 p.m.
  
• my cat came home
  
• my cat wouldn't eat
  
• my cat puked on my pillow
  
• my empathic husband was empathizing with the cat
  
• my sunroof leaked
  
• my butt got wet
  
• i was blamed for the actions of another by four separate people
  
• i held my own
  

No Time

Worked until 8:00 last night. Will work later tonight. Was at Kitty ER until 1:00 a.m. Kitty is in hospital. No sleep for the wicked. I guess now I know I must be wicked.

WAMEZ AND JQ (upated)

sorry. you don't need to blog if you don't want to.

Pink

Nothing new today. Pink seems to be a popular color again. I always hated pink. I now find myself wearing it usually two days a week. How did that happen? Actually, I now believe that I have the confidence in myself to wear pink. I can wear pink and still know that I kick booty.

Updates
Kung Fu - Mr. N is getting more and more disappointed in me because I haven't been back to sparring. It is depressing if only because I respect him. I am trying to work back up to it, but I have been fighting some sort of head cold and... never mind the excuses. The fact of the matter is I haven't gone in weeks and I don't intend to. The fact that form four is getting polished and I have started to learn my first two person form and I have six new techniques under my belt doesn't seem to matter to anyone. It is making going to Kung Fu at all depressing because I don't feel like anyone respects the accomplishments I have made, they just scold me for not sparring. This, in turn, also makes me feel like a bad role model. So, I end up not going. Plus, I have no friends there anymore, since Mr. Y and Ms. M left. I am surrounded by strangers and it feels oppressive.

Writing - This is even more depressing. Not to be constantly down, because that is no fun to read, but I am having serious trouble with my novel. One because it is irrevocably flawed. In multiple ways. Most people would say, "Okay, I wrote a novel, it wasn't that great, but now I have one under my belt and I can start the new one." But I can't do that because I LOVE THIS STORY. I know that sounds vain or conceded, but I really do like these characters and even the overall construct. The problem is that there are moments that are REALLY GOOD, but 90% of it would need to be rewritten to make the whole book readable. This has become a serious dilemma for me.

Work - Black Friday approaches.

Brooks Instructor

This is a Brooks Institute Instructor. This is who I would be working with.

THIS IS A FREAKING BROOKS INSTRUCTOR.

So the guy's name is Ray Andrews, not Ray Brooks. My paranoia must have made that up. He probably said "Hey, This is Ray from Brooks" and I heard, "This is Ray Brooks and you don't keep me waiting because I am very important and now you have no chance of getting in because I am blacklisting you because you put me on voicemail." I guess he didn't say that after all.

Stupid Voicemail

I just called Brooks Institute. I spoke to the receptionist and she forwarded me (with no warning) to a voicemail. I didn't catch the name, but I left a voicemail anyway.

I then walked away from my desk, heard the phone ringing, ran back and found I had a voicemail from Ray Brooks. Brooks. I can only hope that this is a coincidence, because I must look like a total tool that I didn't answer the phone.

Then I tried to call him back and got disconnected. So now what? I want to talk to this guy, ask some questions, get some answers, but I don't want to call the receptionist again and have to ask for his extension again!!

I love how simple things become stressful when you care about them.

Brooks Institute

I have filled out half of an electronic form for Admission to the Brooks Institute of Photography.

I have been commiserating about my lack of technical expertise in this area for too long. I will end up an auditor for the rest of my life unless I make a change. I have been thinking about how I will build my equity base, and maintain my current property, and get more and more and more, and what finally struck me is that I am doing all of this for the possible potential to someday have enough time, money, and freedom to do what I love, and that is photography. Even Book 1 is a hopeful attempt to find an alternate income source so that I can pursue my visual art dream.

I am tired of dreaming. I am tired of letting my life slip through my fingers with nothing to show for it but middle-America belongings and a fabulous husband. I love my husband, but I am pretty sure that he loves me for more than just our condo. (If not, we are going to have a SERIOUS talk later on. Sugar momma my ass.)

Seriously, though, why not? What has this life provided me? What have the past four years of dedicated service to the man given me? The financial freedom to pursue my real dream. I have a condo, I can rent that condo and KEEP the equity. I have stock. I can sell that stock and pay for Brooks IN FULL. Isn't this what I have been pursuing? Aren't I in that state RIGHT NOW? Yes, you could always make just a little more, wait just a little longer, save those few precious pennies, but in the end, what I want, what I really NEED, is to TRY to get my photography CAREER off the ground. Plus, I would still be close to my big sis and that is a HUGE relief.

Okay, I am almost crying I am so excited. I need to talk to my husband, but I think this is something I should really do.

Zappos.Amazing

Wamez got me started on this, but I just want to be sure that everyone who comes to this site knows how fabulous Zappos.com is. SO MANY SHOES and such great service. Good prices, too, from what I have been able to compare.

SPF, back me up on this.

Making Friends is like Dating

I have been out of the dating scene for a while, but it seems that making friends is not that dissimilar to trying to find that special someone.

You have to scout prospective friends. You learn what you can about them without seeming too interested, because a desperate friend is as bad (or worse) than a desperate love interest. (You can always break up with a love interest.) You chose a couple of possible candidates and, if you're lucky, you get the opportunity to interact with new-friend-possibility in a group setting. This can help you narrow your search. Then you dangle a generic invitation, like "We should totally do lunch sometime!" and see if prospective friend bites.

If you are lucky enough to have found a good catch, then you have to be careful with your new friend. You can't suggest lunch again too soon, and it would be even better to wait for them to throw out the invitation. If, however, you have eaten lunch alone for the past year and are eager to start your new friendship, you have to cast a harmless invite that doesn't seem to have any hooks or lures attached. You must also beware of gentle rejections, such as "I have a doctor's appointment," or "I really like to do my laundry during lunch," and back off without too many invested friend hours.

And then if you do actually go to lunch, you have to keep interest alive. What good is a friend without common interests? Friends cannot have comfortable silence before a serious time investment. First lunches are crucial to establishing the "I think we have more to talk about!" atmosphere. Keep your first lunch short to prevent running out of topics of conversation or seeming too interested or desperate for coworker conversation. Never discuss extreme aspects of your personality (unless that IS the aspect of your personality that it extreme.) DO NOT discuss religion or politics. These are things that established friends can debate over, but that destroy new friends immediately.

Never suggest a second lunch within a week. Let it rest. Let your new friend start to want to go to lunch again. Here is another opportunity to let your new friend extend the invitation. If you cannot wait, again, be sure you are equally casual and have given plenty of time between the first lunch and the second lunch invitation.

You also have to beware of friend cliques. These may, at first, seem like a good alternative to finding your own friends, but you are a fifth wheel. Groups of women who routinely go out together once or more a week will NOT accept you as one of their own. Even an invitation to these lunches should be warily accepted. Chances are, they want information and not company.

Lastly, lunches alone should not be feared. The individual that is comfortable on their own will be intriguing to the prospective friend population, because if you eat with them it is not because you were afraid or ashamed to eat alone.

This, at least, is what I have determined.

Here I am

I have been unbelievably busy. I am trying to maintain some semblance of sanity despite all of the craziness in life right now. I have seven audits from last month left to complete, I have more to schedule and complete for this month, I have reports to write, Suppliers to contact, Customers to mollify, and I just ran out of peanut butter!! Not to mention the lingering sadness from the departure of my beloved boss. She is in Hawaii right now. I am not sure she is ever coming back, even though next week is supposed to be her last.

Creative Updates:
Writing - I have reached a low. I had a... bad reaction to my writing. I don't like it. I used to love it, and now I can't stand it at all. I am still trying to get through edit number 5, but it is getting trickier the more I begin to loathe my writing.

Photography - Part of me wants to quit my job and make a crazy and expensive decision to go back to school and get a master's in photography. I know that it would be nuts, especially with the mortgage, but I am UNHAPPY. I am not sure I could ever forgive myself for giving up on my dreams. Pursuing them is one way to at least seek contentment. I also realize that being content is a state of mind, but it is one that is more difficult to achieve when you are never doing anything that you like.

Piano - It is so pretty in the corner...

Kung Fu - STRIPED!!! And yes, I did spell that correctly. I STRIPED my first green sash stripe on Saturday. It was a long time coming, but I am really happy. I know all of the first five techniques for green sash (which is the requirement for the stripe) but I also know all of form four!! That is NOT required, but Mr. N and I have been working on it tirelessly. It took me this long to stripe mostly because I practice the form and not the techniques. I am trying to get to a point where I practice everything every day. (At least a little of everything.) Mr. DP and I had a conversation the other day about my form and he actually made me feel like I was gaining respect with as much practice as I have been doing. I need to go back to sparring, though. It is my downfall. It terrifies me, I am horrible at it, and it is demoralizing. I need to get over ALL of that and make it work for me.

Visual arts - nada.

Work Update - So everyone knows my boss is leaving, but aside from that I am getting into trouble with one of the two managers that will be overseeing me in the future. She is a little touchy, and I apparently touched the wrong buttons... she yelled at me a lot on Friday. I just audited her. Such a small, cruel world. Okay, I scheduled the audit, but that was before she yelled at me, and I forgot about it. Aside from that, barring any unforeseen obstacles, I should be a CERTIFIED AUDITOR in a couple of weeks. That makes me more mobile in the work force. I could even be a consultant. Does anybody need an auditor?