More Progress??

I feel I would be remiss not to show you our most recent progress on the bathroom project, though this progress is owed entirely to the merits of our plumber, the self-proclaimed "Master Plumber of the Universe." I kid you not, it is on his business card.





Perhaps it is a bit bohemian at the moment, but may I remind you that this tub is 20" deep? That's deeper than Spinal Tap's Stone Henge.

Gray Day

It has started raining again. Now that the wall is mostly completed, the rain doesn't give me as much anxiety, but the big crack in the foundation that I found when I pulled up some carpet yesterday made my heart sink again.

So today I sat in my car at the duck pond and watched them go about their normal lives despite the drizzle. They were deprived of most of their handouts as patrons jogged back to their cars when the heaviness of the rain picked up, but they were still fed by the couple that comes every day at noon. The big geese were more aggressive, having been prevented from their usual buffet. They scared away another family that was braving the weather when they overpowered the stroller to try and find goodies on the baby. The father literally ran away, stroller in front of him like a plow through the fields of feathers and squawking beaks. Some of the geese have gotten so lethargic that they tired after a few flaps and ended up waddling away at a ridiculous pace.

On days like this it is hard for me to focus, especially given my current circumstances. My one goal is to assist my boss in anything that she needs. So far, that has been enough of a goal to keep me relatively occupied, but even with her direction and my desire to assist her, I find my motivation taking a sharp decline. On some days I think I have done pretty well to have given notice five months ago and still be diligently working, but that mindset is a precursor to defending my laziness on days like today.

I want to be an effective employee! There are projects that I want to complete and initiate not only for the benefit of my successor, but for the good of the company. There are procedures and processes that I have spent a great deal of time putting together that I am almost certain would fall by the wayside if I do not complete them before my departure. Two months should be plenty of time to complete them, but when you consider that I will be training my replacement, whoever she might be, and pursuing closure of handfuls of small tasks, the looming projects are easily overlooked. I can't decide if it would be better to complete the large projects and overwhelm my replacement with tedium. Probably. That is what I intend to do, but the maintenance processes are becoming all-consuming, and every week I take one step forward and two steps back.

The lack of motivation doesn't help. Neither does the gray day. It matches the ceiling and the walls and the desk that surround me.

Best. Valentine's. Ever.

For this story to really have the appropriate impact, you need a little history.

SPF cannot keep a secret. He can also very rarely manage to manifest a surprise for someone like me who is incredulous, investigative, and very quick to pick up any little hints dropped on purpose or on accident. The latter is obviously contributed to by the former.

A few weeks ago SPF and I were having a random conversation and he accidentally mentioned that we had Valentine’s Day plans. I, being of an inquisitive nature, picked up on this right away and started poking a prodding and trying to ferret out what it was that we would be doing on February 14th.

He was a rock.

So I started asking him questions about the evening to try and determine what he had planned based on his responses. Not only what he said but the way he responded. Again, I was left with no information.

So Monday he tells me only the vital information. I have to be home by 5:45 to get ready because we have dinner reservations at 6:30. I am so on it. Based on the timeframe I realized that the total driving time can’t be more than 15 minutes, because he would have allowed me 30 minutes to get ready, because he is sweet and knows that I will take at least that long even if I wasn’t given the time, and if we had reservations, he would want to be on time. So, there are only a handful of places within fifteen minutes of the house that would be special enough for such an event, and only one with a specific Valentine’s Day menu that is scrumptious. So, I figured it out! Yeah for me!

When he got home, he started driving and I asked where we were going. He smiled sheepishly and said Trattoria I Trulli. I knew it! He smiled and said that he expected I had figured it out. We were running a little late so we were worried about the reservation being lost, as this is a favorite haunt of many locals. When we arrived they hemmed and hawed, but eventually told us that our table would be ready in 5 minutes. Yay! Relief. Lovely dinner ahead of us, relaxing conversation, great food, what else could we ask for? We had it made, once we were sure that we had the reservation still.

For some reason, though, SPF was nervous about the time. “What’s wrong?” I inquired, assuming that his nervousness at almost missing the reservation was carrying over. He very nonchalantly explained “Well, we have other reservations at 8:00 that aren’t so flexible.”

What?? More?!? Unbelievable. I had absolutely no idea that there was anything beyond the lovely dinner that was planned. The fact that he could keep a larger secret from me was beyond impossible. And what was worse is that I had absolutely no idea where we could be going. I decided to let it go during dinner (though it still popped up in conversation) and we had a lovely time. When we were offered desert, SPF asked the time, and upon being informed that it was 7:45, he sat up straight and said “We have to go!”

The waiter, being understanding and clever, ran and got our check, whisked away with the credit card and returned only moments later with the receipt. SPF signed over a generous tip and off we were. But to where?!!? At this point my guessing game started. It had to be close, but what was close? The beach? True, but that doesn’t take a reservation. A movie? Our favorite theater was nearby, but we were headed in the wrong direction. Some special party? I don’t even know what that would be? Fabulous desert that I don’t know about? Maybe, but what would be better than the crème brule at the Trattoria? The fair grounds? Is there some sort of light show at the fair grounds? A special Valentine’s Day extravaganza.

He asked me to open the glove box at this point. Inside it was an envelope that exclaimed “Happy Valentine’s Day!” I opened it just before we were in sight of the gigantic blue and yellow tent that stands for the mystery, the grace, the beauty, the awe inspiring maneuvers of Cirque du Soliel. There they were, two tickets to Quidam.

Upon realizing our perilous position of running out of time and still having to park, make it to the tent, and make it inside in under five minutes, I focused on the goal. Once the car stopped I was at a dead run. In heels. I’m sure I resembled a Monty Python silly walker on speed, but there was no time for decorum. Even with the run, we had to wait outside through the intro, which was grueling because you could hear the ooohhs and ahhhhs coming from inside and we were prevented from experiencing it because the tent had to be in blackout. Two giant, black-velvet curtains hung in our way.

But once we slipped through the curtain, the world of Cirque presented itself in brilliant colors, costumes, coordination, and comedy all for the benefit of the eager audience. There were acrobats of all shapes and sizes. People were being thrown around like rag dolls, leaping, jumping, spinning around on suspended rings in mid-air. There were ring leaders and clowns, audience participation, and an acrobat who used two huge curtains of red cloth to perform incredible feats of strength, agility, beauty, and grace. There were rope winders, a woman with a giant rope swing, and an isometric pair so perfectly balanced it was often difficult to determine where one ended and the other began, balancing in precarious and impossible positions. They were statuesque. So lovely.

All in all, best Valentine’s Day ever.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Happy Valentine's Day!! There used to be a time, not too long ago, that I would spend all of Valentine's Day Eve writing up cutesy valentines for everyone at work. There would be "Finding Nemo" or "The Powerpuff Girls" saying something cute like "Have a powerpacked Valentine's Day!" or some childlike sentiments of endearment or crushes. I used to always do that at my last job.

These days, though, I just wouldn't know what to do. There is so much tension and strife that I wouldn't want to add to it by only handing out some valentines, but if I were to hand them out to everyone, the CEO would undoubtedly be angry at my "inappropriate" work behavior, as he in general has no fun spirit about him. So, it seems as though the answer would be to give valentines to everyone except for the CEO, but then he could turn out to be offended and then what would I do? I would be even more on the outs with him than I already am.

So, I left the "Monster's Inc." and "Spiderman" valentines at home today in unopened boxes. Sigh. Where have all the happy times gone?

Good Morning, I Guess

I am not a morning person. I am a zombie until about 10:00 and would much rather be in bed. I am naturally a night owl. I prefer evening activities and watching the sunset as opposed to getting to bed early and rising with the sun. To me, the sun is a timed thermostat. It goes off at around six and warms up the planet so that by the time I get up I am comfortable with the temperature.

Exceptions to this general rule would be:
1. Ballooning in Abq (requires a prompt 4:00 wake up)
2. Out of town audits, because I hate waiting in traffic more than I hate being up. early.
3. Class. (The dreaded 7:30 has already been promised at Brooks.)
4. Work engagements. This would be every day. This would be especially early today since I need to take a long lunch but still have plans with SPF tonight. I hate that I am here early today and will be here early tomorrow.

I have no idea what the schedule of a photographer is, but I am hoping that it starts no earlier than 10.

Ads

I love that the ads for my blog today are Corrective Action Systems and a CAPA Management white paper. That is hysterical. I am pretty comfortable with my CAPA systems, though, so I won't be using my content appropriate advertisement links. But you can. In fact, if you work for an ISO or FDA regulated company and you don't work in the quality department...maybe you should visit the links. You might learn something. Especially if you work where I work. But that is neither here nor there. Enjoy!

Flame On

Today has been a trying day.

I have performed two formal Quality Audits for the company and the brand new, built from scratch Quality System. The first, performed over a month ago, was specifically geared towards one department. That department fought, a little, but ultimately agreed with my decisions and Corrective Actions.

The second has been ongoing since January 18th. This one covered every department, including the CEO. When I audited each department, I got a good deal of pushback, which I redirected on an individual level to impress upon each department manager that they were not above reproach or beyond the reach and application of the Quality System.

The CEO took his audit very well. During the audit he communicated that he agreed with the Corrective Action that I would be recommending for him personally. He also agreed with the concept of issuing Corrective Actions to others who have failed to follow the process. He insisted that all Department Managers be a part of the Audit Report Out meeting. I, of course, agreed. It is how I run a closing meeting anyway.

Today was that meeting. Today was me in a room with one Manager, four Directors, and the CEO. Today was a six on one free for all.

It started simply enough. I explained the scope of the Audit and clarified my intention and purpose with the Corrective Actions prior to handing out the audit reports. I explained that I was going to issue departmental Corrective and Preventive Actions (CAPAs) for several specific reasons. 1. Not all departments have problems. 2. I feel it is terribly important that we each learn from this experience the importance of being accountable as Managers and the responsibility to follow procedures. 3. I believe that we can address the problems with this Audit effectively by reviewing the contributing factors and owning up to our own deficiencies to correct not only the problems found this time, but to stem the flow of problems that will reach far beyond this incident if we do not learn how to follow procedures.

As I began to go over the CAPAs, which, by the way, each Department head not only knew would be coming, but I had explained what they would say in the audits, I was interrupted by the CEO. He exclaimed, with some distress, that he was not aware of one of the situations of his CAPA. I briefly explained that we had spoken about it during the audit in generalized terms, but that the CAPA itself will always be specifically detailed.

One of the Directors complained that there “had to be a better way” to correct problems without “issuing a CAPA to every little thing.”

“That is not the scenario here.” I explained. “I am only issuing CAPAs to system wide, recurring issues that have been proven to be noncompliant. CAPAs are the best way to formally document our recognition of a problem and our resulting response to it.”

I then went over the other three departmental CAPAs that were to be issued with only minimal interruption. When I got to the recommendations for future action, I was interrupted again by the CEO. He began to explain, in no small detail, the problem with the Quality System, the currently in place procedures, and the lack of efficiency afforded by both. I parried in turn, as I have seen these things deteriorate, and explained that one of the benefits of a Quality System and, in turn, an Internal Audit program is finding gaps and problems, bringing them to a public forum, and resolving them.

His response? It bothers him that we have not resolved these issues prior to the audit and he is now greatly concerned that the Quality System is lacking knowledge of other great problems that should already be resolved.

I tried a different tact. In setting up a Quality System, I explained, there are always going to be instances where you can’t see the forest for the trees. It is these particular issues that are meant to be discovered and resolved with the feedback loops of a Quality System. More specifically, using an analytical approach to reviewing the whole system from the perspective of the regulations and standards as well as internal procedures.

You know what he said? “I have so much to teach you.”

Oh no. That was the line.

You know that moment in Aliens when Ripley is backing out of the incubator egg room and one of the eggs starts to hatch? You know that look she gives the Queen? That little tilt of the head that says “Okay, I was going to leave here on equivalent terms and you were going to keep your spawn and I was going to take Newt off this planet, but now look what you’ve done. Now I have to kill you.”

Flame on.

That is the look that I gave him.

My civility, professionality, and fierce belief in the benefits and applications of a Quality System rose to a critical mass.

I interrupted him. This is not something that I do as it is rude, belittling, improper, and I was raised better than that. But I did it anyway.

“First off, that would be where you and I disagree. I do not believe, as you do, that this process, this Audit, is a “gotcha” way of me finding you out and taking this opportunity to scold the Managers for not following the process. This is not an indication of a greater flaw with the Quality System since issues were found during the audit. Quite the opposite. The fact that the Audit Program is running so smoothly as being able to identify some of these issues so that we have the opportunity of addressing them before the FDA or a Registrar comes through our door is proof that the system and its associated feedback loops are working appropriately. Besides that, this is not finding out “at the last minute,” as you put it, but rather allowing our system to point out the areas for continual improvement. “At the last minute” would be finding out what your problems are when the FDA comes in. That being the case I am also not going to back down in issuing these Corrective Actions because I believe that it is imperative that all of you take away from this meeting the importance and necessity of following procedures and of asking questions when you do not understand something. Just ask. There are plenty of people who are following these processes right now that could help you to understand your own discrepancies. That is my job. My job is to perform these audits and decide where CAPAs need to go and in so doing allow for process improvement. If the FDA comes in here and sees consistent problems with this process that were never addressed with a Corrective Action, they look to me and say ‘Tell us why, Auditor, when you were in a room surrounded by Executive Management, did you back down and not issue CAPAs where the system was failing?’ And so I won’t back down, and four of you are leaving with CAPAs. But let me say one other thing. When that Auditor does come in, I am in that room with them. I am your first line of defense. I am the one who talks them through the processes, shows them our evidence, demonstrates our compliance and I can only do that if I am confident that you have all done your best to remain compliant as well. If you can prove that to me, by completing your CAPAs appropriately, then I am your best friend when someone else comes in to audit us.”

They were pretty quiet after that. I believe I performed very well. Especially considering that I was the youngest person in the room and the only woman.

The Trouble With Brocade

I have asked my extremely talented, lovely, brilliant sister to make a Renaissance Faire dress for me for this year. This might be too tall of an order, though she has not yet admitted so.

Our first encounter with the dress was, of course, the purchasing of the fabrics to construct the dress. This takes place in the Fabric district. I had three choices for "period" fabrics for this dress. Velvet, silk, or, my choice, brocade.

The color was up to me, Burgundy.

The "pattern" was then left to the mercy of brocade manufacturers who don't seem to understand that "period" garments must be made with a geometric design and not with swirls or scrolls, flowers, abstract designs, or roosters.

Yes. Roosters. The perfect brocade, heavy and stiff enough to hold the dress silhouette, embroidered in the same colored thread as the material itself (another must have) and even with the ever impossible geometric design was besmirched with six inch tall roosters every foot and a half in any direction. Roosters. Burgundy brocade with roosters. Seriously? Was this a joke? Who came up with this? And who is buying it to upholster their furniture? What sick joke is this? My sister assured me that we could not "work around the roosters" and so the material was out of the running.

After three and a half hours of searching every fabric store, every sidewalk, every skein, every roll, every brocade my spirits began to falter. Even my tireless sister began to wane. There was a lovely Burgundy brocade with a dark gray crest-of-arms looking design on it that caught her attention, though it was thoroughly "non-period." I was drawn to a beautiful, geometrical, monotone brocade that happened to be the color of sand. We were straying from our mission.

What about silk? Velvet? Something, anything else.

JQ - "No! We are so close, so close!"
AQF - "You've been saying that for an hour!!"
"JQ - "Which means that we are that much closer!! We are going to find the perfect brocade!"

This was not up for discussion, so we continued to search. We ended up buying the first brocade that we saw. It is Burgundy, it is embroidered with Burgundy thread in a geometric pattern. We got it for $7.00/yard after some bargaining. We went home without trim, accent material, the guard velvet, or even thread. We did find a steal of a deal on good quality white cotton, though, and the pillbox hat form and grommets.

I suppose that we will get the other stuff done on my next visit. I just don't know when that will be. Problem is, the fair is in April or May or June which doesn't give us a lot of time to prepare. Or rather, doesn't give her a lot of time to prepare, considering that she doesn't have enough materials to start work, will need me to purchase the remainder of the materials, me to decorate the bodice and sew on the trim, and me to stand by and be pinned while she assembles the various components of the garment on my form.

It is going to have Queen sleeves, though. Wicked!