It's the blood...it's always the blood

I was going to comment on my sister's blog, but in this particular case, it isn't my place. Reason being, it was an apology letter of sorts, and it wasn't to me.

So instead I want to let you men who marry the women in my family (and may someday make MORE of them) know a little secret.

Along with the incredibly strong-minded, independent, intelligent, driven personality comes the self-doubting, manic-depressive flower. Don't get me wrong, we are not weak on any level, but there is a certain amount of fragility that comes along with the bloodline. Fragile not because of something so base as hormones, but rather because we put everything on the line, all the time. We are unspeakably honest in everything that we do. I am not saying that there isn't the occasional white lie (which I am good at, though my sister actually does NOT lie at all, ever) I am talking about baring your soul. When you meet me, you meet ME. There is no pretense. There is no falsehood. I do not know how to invent something other than who I am. I do not deal in situations while trying to manipulate the course of action to suit me. If I tell you I will do a job, I do it. And not only that, but I do it to the BEST of my ability.

That kind of openness and nakedness would break most people overnight. We have learned to cope with that, though. Because being that bare means that people can hurt you. Sometimes more easily than should be possible. Again, though, it isn't weakness to be honest. It is an incredible strength in its own right.

So if we ever seem crazy, or emotionally strained, or temperamental, just keep in mind how we live every day of our lives. The skin is incredibly thick, considering that all of it is always exposed. Think also of how you, or people you know, would function if they could be this honest. Not only honest with the world, but honest with themselves. I know all of my faults, and I acknowledge them. This is why the concept of "fishing for compliments" is foreign to me. I would never tell you that I am a bad photographer in the hopes of you telling me I was good. I would only tell you that if I had made an actual determination about some aspect of my work.

Now, before you go off and tell me I am a good photographer, let me expand the explanation. When I recently did a photo shoot for a golf tournament, the images were ruined, almost to the last one. Why? Because I didn't know the strength of fill flash that I needed to correctly compensate for the strong back-lighting of the sunny, hot landscape. So when I was commiserating over being a bad photographer, I was being honest with myself that I am a bad know-the-strength-of-the-fill-flash-that-you-need photographer. It is an admission that will allow me to learn and grow as a photographer. Do you see? If I blamed something else, like the film, or the camera, I wouldn't be able to grow from it, or learn from it. The problem, of course, is that I don't say that I am a bad know-the-strength-of-the-fill-flash-that-you-need photographer, I just say photographer.

But that is something else that you should know. We never fish for compliments. It is not in our nature, and we already treat them with skepticism. Although, my sister is trying to combat that attitude as well, with Compliment books and trying to understand and receive compliments graciously. I am going to try and learn from her. She is incredibly strong.

I think I rambled a bit more than intended.