Blahg

I am finding I have lost my focus. I think the extended stress of the house, losing my childhood belongings, starting a new job, and sucking at Kung Fu is starting to take its toll.

I find it hard to do things that used to come easily to me. Kung fu has become difficult (and humiliating). My piano has a vendetta against me. My job expects more of me than I can deliver. Writing is right out.

This combination of ineptitude and lack of contribution to the world is making me even sadder. I feel very blah. Blah blah blah.

I need my focus back, but I am not sure that I can get that without correcting the problems at hand.

SPF keeps asking me what I can have control over, what I can affect change in, and I don't see anything. Without focus, I can't become better at Kung Fu, or any of those other things that make me happy. So without focus I have no control, but I don't seem to have any control over my focus. It is a Catch 22.

Yoga would help that. But I don' have time or money for yoga. Tai Chi (which I have already paid for) would help, but I am afraid of it because it is in the same place as Kung Fu, and that place is humiliating to me now. (Don't ask.)

CRAZY MAKING!!!

BLAH!!!